Now I have no clue if they had walked very far or if they were just walking into the building from the parking lot, but what the little girl said struck me as familiar. I realized that I say that same exact thing to God so often. But, just as her father was patient with her, our Father is patient with us.
I have messed up oh so often recently. I have drifted from the safety of my heavenly Father's arms and looked for love and reassurance in different places. I find my usual excuse is that it is hard to walk the path that God has set before me. It gets lonely, I'll say, forgetting that God is always by my side. He never falters in walking by my side, except for the times when He picks me up and carries me because I tell Him that I am tired of walking His path. Not once has He let me completely stray to another path. He brings me back on course every single time. It is hard for me to walk, but God is patient with me!
He has been teaching me through this. Through ALL of this. In the last five months, I have been beaten, torn, and broken, but through that, God has been teaching me, growing me, and using me. He has shown me things that I never accepted before. I struggle with anxiety. Even typing it here is hard for me, but through that realization, I have been able to overcome parts of it. Most of my anxiety is social. One mark of someone with social anxiety is that they regularly remove themselves from social situations in order to "have control over them." They really don't though. So, instead of trying to "have control," I make myself join in and I find that I actually have lots of fun. He has also grown and nurtured my love for Him. I find more and more evidence of His love everyday. He has shown me that I cannot depend on human affection to satisfy me, because humans can so quickly withdraw their affection and our hearts yearn for something more than what humans can offer us. He has used my experiences and the things I am going through in order to encourage other people, and vice versa.
A dear friend I have has been dealing with many of the same things. She and I have slowly been getting through this together. I know that I have someone who is always going to turn my focus back on how great and good God is in every part of my life. Even if she doesn't say anything about God, she radiates joy in the midst of her circumstance and that reminds me that only God can provide that kind of joy. She encourages me every time I am around her, in so many different ways. I pray that I encourage her on a daily basis as well.
God knows. He knows that it is hard. God knows that it is hard for us to walk the path He has for us sometimes. I mean Jesus had to suffer the cross. He walked a terrible path, harder than almost any other person that has ever lived. He knows what it is like to say "Daddy, it's hard to walk." The Bible tells us that He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done.” He was looking for any other way.
There is something about this verse that I struggle with all the time. Jesus asks for the cup to be taken from Him, but He says He will willingly still go through with God's will even if He knows it will be hard. I can learn from Jesus' example. I need to resolve myself to always saying, "God, not my will, but Yours, be done." And when it feels like I cannot go any longer, I need to push myself to keep going, no matter what I am facing.
I have a few questions to ask you: What are you facing today? What have you been facing in the last year? How has God worked in past situations? And can you see Him working now? If not, how hard are you actually looking?
God works in mysterious, and sometimes very hidden ways. Look! Look HARD! He is working. I can guarantee that. You will find the ways He is working too, if you are looking for them. Take this and think on it. God is working all around you, just take the time to look for Him. Look for Him in the way the wind can carry all your worries away, the way people smile with all the joy in the world at you, the way fellow students or teachers encourage you in little ways throughout the day, the way you just feel inexplicably at rest. Look for Him in all things, every day. You will find Him. And remember that when you tell Him it is hard to walk, He is patient with you, and He will sometimes even pick you up and carry you!
I will leave you with this song. I hope the lyrics encourage you the way they have encouraged me:
Carry Me by Josh Wilson
I try to catch my breath. It hasn't happened yet. I'm wide awake in the middle of the night scared to death, so I prayed, "God, would You make this stop? Father please hold on to me. You're all I've got."
Carry me, carry me, carry me now from my sinking sand to Your solid ground. The only way I'm ever gonna make it out is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now. God, carry me, carry me, carry me now.
Jesus, calm my heart. Come near me, please. Lord, don't let these worries get the best of me. Oh I believe that You're still here with me 'cause You meant what You said when You said You'd never leave.
So carry me, carry me, carry me now from my sinking sand to Your solid ground. The only way I'm ever gonna make it out is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now. God, carry me, carry me, carry me now. Carry me, God, carry me. Carry me, God, carry me
I'm at the end of myself. I know I've got nothing left. Feels like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow of death. And I've been down here so long I just can't find my way out. Oh God, I don't stand a chance unless You carry me now. God, carry me now.
Carry me, carry me, carry me now from my sinking sand to Your solid ground. The only way I'm ever gonna make it out is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now. God, carry me, carry me, carry me now.