Really God?

This past week I was on a missions trip in Washington DC. Sure, I could talk about my experiences with the less fortunate, but I'd rather talk about what I learned and how clearly I heard God for the first time.
Thursday night was our last night there. It was emotional and hard. Then, we read the passage about Jesus washing the disciples feet. After that, the YW staff told us the break into church groups. First, they washed the leaders' feet. Then, the leaders washed our feet. It was difficult and I had experienced this before. The last time, though, I thought that the leaders shouldn't be doing it for me, but it was different this time. God clearly spoke and told me that I needed to do the same thing. I needed to serve just as He served. Now, don't get me wrong, I served all week, but this was a different kind of service. God wanted me to serve my family.
See I need a huge lesson in humility because my pride has stood in between me and God for too long. I know that that has to stop and God knew that that would only happen as long as I had to humble myself in front of the people of the people I'm most prideful with.
Service is huge and it starts at home. I have to make sure my heart is in the right place at home before  I go out and try to serve others!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who was on the DC trip. You all are amazing and I love every single one of you.

That One Thing That Makes My Life Wonderful And Terrible

For all of you who have been following my blogs, I am telling you that this one is going to be very different from my other ones. I just feel like I need to get this out there, but I don't necessarily want to be direct about it.
Well, you're probably wondering what on earth could make my life so terrible and wonderful at the same exact time. That one thing is guys! Now you're probably thinking, "What? I thought she didn't think about guys that way and she's just friends with guys." You would be correct, but these are NOT just any guys. The guys I'm specifically talking about are the guys at my school. Those of you who know them are probably REALLY confused at this point, but I will tell you, I know some other girls at the school who pretty much agree with me.
The guys at my school are a rare breed. Sure, they can be like other guys. They can be braggish, they can make inappropriate jokes, and they can be everything else other guys are. For the most part, though, they are some of the BEST guys in the world. I cannot help but give them the highest praise I can. Most of the time (at least when we females are around), they are gentlemanly, chivalrous, nice, sweet, deep, and just GREAT guys. They are all these things and funny. No, they are ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!! They NEVER fail to make me laugh and smile. These guys make my days at school exciting and unpredictable. They make my days go better. They are part of the sunshine in my sometimes dull and stormy life and I love them.
So, you're probably wondering why these guys make my life terrible too. It's because they are practically undateable! Now, don't get me wrong. I do not necessarily want to date these guys, at least not right now, but it would be nice to know, at least, that one of these pretty amazing guys thought I was pretty great. It wouldn't even have to be in a romantic way. Just to know that they thought the same things about me would be pretty awesome. I mean, they are good, most of them are Godly, and they really are several levels above the other guys in this world. Just to know that these guys thought the same things about me would be awesome.
What do I mean by several levels above most other guys in this world? I would never have to worry about these guys trying anything or pushing me if I said no. Honestly, most of the guys would probably opt for more of a courting relationship. (By that I mean hanging out with friends and family and not going out to movies or dinner alone all that often.) They would probably make some of the best boyfriends ever.
These guys are just some of my favorite guys in the world! These reflections were inspired by an afternoon with a few of them while I was thinking back on the day as we were heading back to town and just for your entertainment, here is exactly what I wrote down at the time: "I am truly lucky and my life sucks at the same time because of the same thing: the guys at my school. They are the best guys on the planet!!! They just don't know it and they probably wouldn't use it to their advantage even if they did know. It's just the type of guys they are They are truly INCREDIBLE! Why am I lucky? Well, I  already answered that. Why does my life suck because of this? They're like my brothers (some of them more awkward than others)!!! I can't go out with any of them. It'd probably even be super weird if I just liked one of them. I love them. I truly do, just not romantically. I pray one day they all discover how incredibly amazing they are compared to other guys out there, but until they do, I will continue to know (not secretly anymore) all girls who date/marry them are the luckiest girls on the planet and (probably) do NOT deserve those guys!"
Sorry that this post was so different from my others, but I really thought I should just out this out there, and if any of you guys are reading this, don't let it go to your head. At least you know what I think of you now, though. I hope you guys will actually live up to this the rest of your life and that you will never loose your sweetness and funniness!

...... oh, and thank You, God

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, in your life, especially on one of those good days, that it is so easy for God to become an afterthought? I just experienced this a little bit ago. When I got on facebook and was about to post something to my wall, I was like oh yeah, thanks God for the wonderful day. I was truly grateful and I knew that He had made it a beautiful day, but my mind doesn't always go directly to God.
It should though! God is the one who makes days great. He's the one who makes days bad. He blesses me and takes away from me, and no matter what He chooses to do, my mind should always be on God. It should always be listening for His voice, discerning HIS will for my life.
GOD SHOULD NOT BE AN AFTERTHOUGHT! He is almighty God, King of the universe, your creator, my creator, and the one who has control over all things! Every minute of everyday, I should be sitting in awe and wonder of His grace, majesty, and love, not giving Him a few thank yous and pleases throughout my day. It just doesn't seem to fit when you think about ALL that God is.
He is my King, my Lord, my Provider, my Savior, my More-than-enough, my Jehovah-Jireh, my all-in-all, my Friend, my Father, my Peace, my Joy, my Love, my Fullness, my Deliverer, my Completeness, and my EVERYTHING! God is everything to me. If I lost all I had today, I would still have ALL I needed cause I'd still have God. God should be my everything, every second of my life.
God CANNOT be someone I thank when my life is going good, if I remember to, and someone I plead with when my life is going bad. He should be the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I think about when I fall asleep, and the one thing I constantly think about in all the moments in between. I should be so overwhelmed with thoughts about God that the Devil can't even creep into my mind. It should make it impossible for me to sin and if I do, I immediately feel absolute remorse for it.
It is so hard to have God on your mind constantly though. I know. It's hard to keep our minds on one thing with all the distractions around us each and every day. There are so many other things that try to steal our attention, but God is fighting for that attention too. God shouldn't have to fight for your attention. It should be our instinct to always give God our attention first, then move on to the other things.
One song that I love listening to asks God to make them broken, empty, and lonely until He is their "One Desire", "One True Love", "Breath", and "Everything" and it also asks Him to keep making them. That is what I want. I want God to be all and for Him to keep making me. I know God's power can do anything, so I pray earnestly that He will be the first thing my mind ALWAYS goes to no matter what!

Easter is happy time...... the reason we celebrate it is not

Tonight my youth pastor was speaking for the second time of a three week series about how the resurrection changes everything. Tonight he decided to focus on the crucifixion though. He took a different angle than anyone would've thought, but it spurred some great thoughts in my mind. One thought I had was this: "The ABSOLUTE joy of the resurrection was intensified by the ABSOLUTE suffering of the crucifixion."
This thought held me suspended in thought for a few moments. If we thought about all the suffering of the cross and tried to imagine how it would feel to be broken and so COMPLETELY forsaken the way Jesus was, if we imagined the pain, sorrow, and feeling of completely lostness (yes I know that's not a word) that His followers experienced that DARK day, Easter would be an all out celebration!!!!!! I'm not talking about the candy, easter bunny, or even egg hunts that we have today. No, I am talking about an all out, amazing, and loud worship session for God that celebrated His victory over death and over hell.
The Bible tells us that Jesus  now holds the keys to death. It makes me think of the song that says, "Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory? Oh church, come stand in the light. The glory of God has DEFEATED the night. Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory? Oh church, come stand in the light. Our God is NOT dead. He's alive. HE'S ALIVE!!!!!" God cannot even be overcome by the grave.
Wow! What a hope that should give Christians. If God can DEFEAT death, how much more can He help you defeat and overcome and fix stuff in your life? God wants to help you conquer everything in your life. He loves you and He wants what's best for you and He has a great life planned for you!
I may not be a fan of happy endings because I'm tired of them, but this is one happy ending that will never get old and that will always bring tears to my eyes, because I know it is what brought me back to life again. This is a happy ending that I certainly did NOT deserve and yet God has chosen to give me the free gift of life in His son. I could not conquer anything without Him, and yet He has given me the power to DEFEAT the grave and Satan forever.
Do NOT forget the suffering that Jesus had to go through before the resurrection. This Easter, before you go on an easter egg hunt or before you start digging into your candy, take a moment to realize what God went through to make it such a joy-filled day of celebration!

A Christian in an Atheistic World

Last week in Europe, I got a true glimpse at how atheistic our world really is. There really is no religious people in Europe, but those who are just go to an elaborate cathedral on Sundays and go through the motions. It is hard to explain it, but it hit me hard because in Knoxville, I'm smack dab in the middle of what is called the Bible belt. I finally understood what atheism played out on a large scale looked like.
My tour director, who is the sweetest person in the world is a pluralist, which is not an atheist, but very close. She believes that, if there is a heaven and a god, everyone will be allowed in to heaven. She doesn't believe that one religion is right or wrong. She doesn't adhere to a certain religion either.
When one of my friends, Levi, and I started talking to her about our beliefs, she told us we had to question everything and explore all things. When we went on talking a little longer, she stopped and she looked at the both of us and said with her brow knitted, "You aren't creationists. Are you?" We both looked at her and said that we were. She then looked at us with a huge expression of surprise on her face. She could not believe that we did not adhere to the belief that practically the whole world adheres to of evolution. We then continued and told her that we do believe in micro-evolution, but not macro-evolution. No matter what we said after we admitted that we were creationists mattered, though.
It seems that if someone says they are a creationist, they must not be able to argue intelligibly because who could think the whole world was created in six or seven days. I can see where this could make more sense, but really which is more logical? God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh or that the world just happened? I get that its easier to get rid of the need for a God, but its more logical to have Him.
I think, as Christians, we need to fight even harder for our religion! It is dying, especially in places like Europe. I think it takes going to places like I did in order to see just how incredibly dark our world is now. It is sad, but it should fire us up and make us try even harder to bring our world back to God.
I'm listening to the song "Do Something" by Matthew West, and part of it says, "How'd we ever get so down and how's it ever gonna turn around? So, I turned my eyes to heaven and I thought, 'God, why don't you do something?".... He said, 'I did, I created you.' If not us, then who? If not me and you right now? It's time for us to do something. If not now, then when will we see and end...?" This should make us think about how we are living for Christ and if we are really doing something. I just wanna say that from now on, I am going to try to make it impossible for someone to look at me and not see a difference!

Are you needed?

While I was in Europe, I was listening to a song, and one thing the song made me think about being needed. I wrote all of my thoughts down, then and there. This is what I wrote: "You don't feel needed? That's because you really aren't needed!" This might sound harsh, but this is my explination: "God can use you, but that doesn't mean He NEEDS you. God could carry out His plan without you..." Still a little harsh? Let me continue: "... but He has chosen YOU to help Him. This should be EXTREMELY humbling in every way."
Most people don't know this, but I have had a hard time with pride and this realization hit me right between the eyes. I guess it took travelling to Europe, having a bad day, having no one to comfort me, and needing to escape with my music for my pride to finally be shattered. It's one of those things that you just don't think God can use, but the rest of the trip, nothing got to me, I brushed things off, and I was a lot happier. I needed it to happen.
I think we all want to feel needed, and we are, but by other people. I also think we assume God NEEDS us for His plan too, but so often we forget that that's not the case. He has just chosen to use us, and we forget this is a privilege. I think if we saw missions and ministry as a privilege, it would change the way we serve and why. Many times, we do it so we'll look good and God will like us. I'm guilty of this myself. If we looked at it as a privilege, though, we would enjoy it even more and we would be more willing to do it, I think. If it's a privilege, God hand-picked YOU to do it. That would make me jump right in and do it. If I thought, "The almighty God of the universe, took His time to pick me and grow me in Him so I could reach these people," I don't know about you, but it would get me excited.
Now, I will admit it. The thoughts that I had in Europe were written at a very emotional time, but that doesn't make them any less true. If anything, they are more true, because they were straight from my heart. They may have sounded harsh at first too, but it makes me realize that I'm even MORE important because God CHOSE me out of everyone.
Someone once told me, "God uses ordinary people to do EXTRAORDINARY things!" God CAN use you and He will, but He does NOT NEED you!

What is great?

"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some have greatness thrust upon them."
This is a quote by William Shakespeare. I recently came across it and started to ponder it, thinking about what truly makes a person great. Is it the way they dress? The way they speak? Their social status? How good they are at sports? Or how much money they have?
Our society puts so much pressure on people to be GREAT! But the thing is, no one seems to know exactly what true greatness is.
This isn't one of those posts that I just share my opinion on things. I want you to form your own opinion also and this is to give you a little bit of food for thought.
I will tell you this though. I believe a person is great once they find their identity, discover their purpose and then accomplish it. This can only come from one source and that's Christ. He is the only one I can put my full trust in and who has a plan for me.
One of my favorite songs (in which God is talking to us) says, "I have a plan for you. I have a plan for you. It's gonna be wild. It's gonna be GREAT! It's gonna be full of me."
God already has us planned for greatness, so why don't you just let Him take the reins and let Him lead you on the amazing journey He has planned for you!