There is something about how every actor feels when they leave the stage on the last night of the play. After the curtain call and after the lights go down and the curtain closes for the last time for a certain show, there is a heaviness that fills your heart, but a lightness that fills the air. You start tearing down the set and you work hard for a couple of hours and suddenly, the set is nonexistent. The stage is empty and all that is left are the cast members that have become your family in just a few short months. Some of them, you've just gotten to know better. Some of them, you may have never known if you weren't in the play together. Then, you go out and celebrate, because it really was a great show and it was an amazing run for everyone.
Then, the next night rolls around. For the past three nights, you've walked down to the auditorium at about 6:30 to get your costume on and get ready to perform the show. You glance at the time on your computer screen. It says 6:40. Then, it truly hits you. You really are done performing the show that you worked on for months and all that is left of the show are the memories and friendships you made along the way. It is a bittersweet feeling and you want to cry and be thankful at the same time.
There are no words that exist to express how thankful I am to have been a part of Oklahoma, but there are also few words to describe the pain in my chest when I think about the fact that I truly am done with being on stage until next semester.
Being in Oklahoma gave me the chance to rediscover my love for theatre, but it also made me rediscover the sadness that covers me when I will no longer step onto the stage as a certain character again, even if that character is only a nameless farmer's daughter. Every character is a cherished, dear friend and I will see her from time to time, but she will never fully reappear ever again. I fear that there are some parts of each character that fade away at the end of every show, never to be seen again. I reflect on the time I've had being in every show I've been in, but I never cultivated deep friendships in any of the others, and I have never missed a show as much as I continue to miss Oklahoma.
I think part of it is that fact that we had three veteran actors that will be leaving in just a few short weeks. I watched as the curtain closed for the very last time on these three actors and that was heart wrenching. (Crystal, Caleb, and Andrew, you will be missed by many on this campus and in the theatre.) But, there is a light, because even as good goes, good usually comes. True, I do not think I will ever forget those three, but we also still have talented people at the school, and I know of at least one phenomenal actor coming next year. So, even though Crystal, Caleb, and Andrew will remain irreplaceable, there is a small light at the end of the tunnel. To those seniors who were in the show and are now moving on and to those who are coming into Bryan and want to perform, "There's a bright golden haze on the meadow. There's a bright golden haze on the meadow... [Your dreams are as high as the clouds going by] and it looks like they're climbing clear up [through] the sky."
What else now is there to say but thank you? Thank you to those in the show that made me feel accepted and loved (you know who you are). Thank you to the seniors who gave their all for one last time on the stage. And thank you to anyone who was a part of this production in any way. I am so glad that I was able to rediscover a part of myself that really missed being able to shine. So, until next time, "We're only saying, 'You're doin fine Oklahoma.' Oklahoma. O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A. Oklahoma. Yeow!"
