A lot has happened since I last did a blog post, and I'm still not exactly sure what I'm doing right now. I just know that this is a way for me to form my ideas into actual, wordable (I know it's not a word) thoughts.
My life right now is kind of chaotic. I'm now officially in my Senior year of high school, I have two new jobs, a crazy schedule that keeps changing, and I also have do NOT exactly know what I want to do with my life or which college I want to go to or really anything relating to my future! This, for me, is probably one of the scariest things that could happen. I am a planner and planners want to know what is happening WAY before hand. Now, this isn't to say that I won't do some things spontaneously, but when it comes to deciding what to do with the rest of my life, I want to know THAT!
I have learned something though. I HAVE to trust God in order to be what he wants me to be! I have also learned that He has plans for me way beyond my wildest dreams. I have learned that God probably will not show me what is going to happen in the future, because He is teaching me to trust Him.
All this I have learned, but I still struggle with it daily. I worry. I wonder. I wander. I try to plan over God's plan that He has not yet revealed to me. I try to create this world for myself if I choose certain things over others. I CANNOT out plan God though. He can see infinitely more than I can and He can create an infinitely better future for me than I can.
My question now: Why do I even worry in the first place? My soul is secure in God! No matter what happens to me, I know where my soul is going to end up. Now, this doesn't mean I can just sit around and do nothing. That is considered sin, but this means that I should let God lead me into the unknown with no fear and no hesitation knowing that He has every second of my life in His hands and nothing will happen to me against His will. Jesus tells us explicitly in Matthew 6:25-34. Verses 33 and 34 have been my comfort in these past few months, trying to decide where God is leading me and learning to trust Him in everything!
I don't know if any of you have had to surrender everything to God, then had to trust Him when you cannot see anything in front of you at all, but it is NOT easy. Maybe, I'll come to things in my life that are even harder to trust God with, but right now, this feels really hard.
I have comfort though. I have an inexplicable, overwhelming peace in my life! I know that this can only be through God. I cannot explain the calmness in the middle of the storm, but I know it's only because of God's presence. So, even though I am going through my last year of highschool needing GREAT grades, even though I am trying to balance my two new jobs and my constantly changing schedule, I know that GOD'S GOT THIS!!!
"But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself, Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." ~ Matthew 6:33-34 ~
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